the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
