Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
