bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize