I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
