She said her name was "party"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
