last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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