i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dicks are not precious.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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