First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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