I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im holly from the hills drunk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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