i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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