we're blogging at a bar
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
