So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
