Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
