His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize