I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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