Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
