Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
