YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm always down for nudity.
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