Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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