my vag is so smooth its legendary
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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