My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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