I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
