This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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