found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
how drunk are you?
Several
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
