omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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