Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
