are you still at the devil's house?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I need to calm my uterus...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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