i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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