I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
