haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
