Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
