i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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