Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
