I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
