Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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