People in love make me want to vomit
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can feel your judgement through the phone
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
