Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
