Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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