You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
