jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
