So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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