You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
