That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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