he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this will be a night to untag.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
