Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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