fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap