She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ugly people sure do ruin things
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
