So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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