Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
