Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you win again, gameday.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize