I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
