My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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