how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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