Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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