In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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