1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize