I need help removing her.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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