This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
