After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
