Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize