Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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